The Detroit Post
Wednesday, 08 December, 2021

Why Are Cats So Evil

author
James Smith
• Thursday, 10 December, 2020
• 12 min read

Now, while we wait for the internet to descend on me like Sauron’s army, I shall explain why. Years of nameless, nondescript goldfish, hamsters, rabbits and guinea pigs have created in me a passive indifference to most pets and instilled in me a very “meh” attitude to anything cute and fluffy.

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(Source: isyoubored.blogspot.com)

Contents

You might think you're investing all that time and energy into building a beautiful relationship with your pet. This is because cats are naturally unresponsive to punishment; they only respond to praise and rewards.

So no matter how many times you spray Mr Bojangles with water for clawing the sofa, he'll never learn. They definitely have a bad attitude, but even worse, they think they're better than you. They prance around like they own the place, peeing everywhere and expecting you to clean it up for them.

They know you will wait on them hand and foot and provide them with a constant supply of food. An interesting fact that you might not know is that cats also have a “cry” which they used to manipulate humans.

If anything, this proves that even cats know they are evil creatures, and they have to impersonate our children to try and manipulate us into doing their bidding. The average person has probably spent 7,638 hours watching cat videos.

You could have read 300 life-changing books in that time, gone on 47 enlightening walks through nature, had countless deep and meaningful conversations with friends and family. Mindless, dull, repetitive and completely devoid of any value, these are the bane of my life and I can’t understand why anyone wants to waste their time watching them.

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(Source: www1.flightrising.com)

They hunt and bring you dead animals (we’ll get to their sadistic, murderous instincts in a moment), because they think you are too stupid to catch a bird or a mouse on your own. And if Disney has taught us anything, it's that witches are inherently evil and don't just want to put a spell on you, they want to kill you (Sleeping Beauty wouldn't have been much of story if Maleficent had done her job properly).

The perfect heartless sidekick; they don't care whether you live or die, as long as they're getting some tuna at the end of it. Considering cat lovers are so vocal about their love for all things cute and fluffy, it seems strange that people are happy to ignore the fact that cats are tyrants who pick on mice, birds and other creatures.

Not only do they kill them (to arrogantly show you that they’re better than you), they usually play with their prey, torturing the poor animals before a slow and painful death. Some famous examples include Dr Evil from the Austin Powers movie series, with his ugly cat Mr Biggles worth, Caramel and Israel from the Smurfs, and even in the Harry Potter series, caretaker Filch has his own snitching sidekick in the form of Mrs Norris.

Essentially, when a cat is rubbing up against you or lying in your lap, it doesn't want affection, it is marking you as its property. That's because in the wild, cats dig holes to bury their business.

This is because they don't want to challenge the dominant cat on his own turf, so it's a way of admitting who's boss. Between all that purring and meowing, people conveniently forget that cats also hiss.

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(Source: www.youtube.com)

Most animals, big or small, are scared of snakes, which is why cats send their ears back, hiss and spit, in an attempt to mimic a venomous snake. NAD, just worth noting that cats aspire to be an animal THAT CAN KILL YOU.

When they lick their paws, and their fur, and everywhere else for that matter, they aren't trying to give themselves a bath, they just want to rid of the disgusting stench of human. Cats themselves no doubt orchestrated this whole obsession in their quest for world domination, but it's time we put them back in their place.

Tiny muscular twitches in their ears demonstrate that they can pick out their names as well as their owners’ voices against background noise, but more often than not they simply choose to ignore it. A quote from the same study said ‘The behavioral aspects of cats that cause their owners to become attached to them are still undetermined’.

What science does know however is that humans find certain things ‘cute’ by nature, which include large eyes, purring noises and shows of affection. While cats were popular pets in Ancient Egypt, it appears that the domestication possibly goes back much further to Cyprus 12,000 years ago.

In fact one study even suggests that cats don’t like being stroked at all, but rather just tolerate it as part of their manipulation game. Best practice for now is to carry on stroking your cat, but to make sure you give it plenty of space when it’s eating or sleeping.

evil cat does babyanimalgifs why meme
(Source: me.me)

Scats started eating our food one day and then just manipulated us to let them stay. They eat our food, carry parasites, poo in our homes and avoid spending time with us whenever possible.

On the other hand, we actually brought dogs into our homes because they already had evolved traits such as friendliness and affection due to their pack nature. Horror films and literature seem ever so willing to vilify the cute little house kitties every single chance they get.

Black people who think they have a case with horror because of exploitation need to wait in line. Cats have been so demonized by horror genre that if they could sue, they would have a landslide of a case.

Both Black and White cats are seen as unlucky and bearer of bad omen. Glad this little post can avoid diving into racial tensions since both white and black cats are discriminated against as bearers of bad luck.

In the Renaissance, cats were often thought to be witches ‘ familiars (for example, Gremlin, the first witch’s familiar in Macbeth ‘ s famous opening scene), and during festivities were sometimes burnt alive or thrown off tall buildings. People during the renaissance became retarded by religion and thought cats were servants of the devil and would burn them alive.

cat crying syndrome down anime literally babyanimalgifs evil why does
(Source: www.pinterest.com)

Legend in Japan has it that a cat waved a paw at a Japanese landlord, who was intrigued by this gesture and went towards it. It seems that the culprit of the vilification of cats lies with witch phobic renaissance bastards.

Angry Europeans with the fear of God in them and a burning hatred for anything “unholy” and “satanic”. A short chilling tale that resembles a bit of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Black Cat.

If you read this column regularly, you probably already know the answer to that question is no. More often than not, that’s exactly what is happening when your cat is displaying a not so welcome behavior.

First and foremost, if your cat has suddenly started peeing or pooping outside the box, there may be a medical reason. Once medical issues are ruled out, look carefully at the litter box situation in your home.

Is it in a quiet location where your cat won’t get interrupted when using it? These are just a few of the things to consider when dealing with litter box issues.

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(Source: brokemillennial.com)

He’s performing what is, to your cat, a perfectly normal behavior. Your cat is not only sharpening his claws, he’s also stretching his muscles and maybe even marking your home as his territory.

There are any number of scratching surfaces that are available commercially for cats, or you can make your own. Providing more than one type of surface is a good idea.

Just remember if you don’t provide adequate surfaces for your cat to use, he’ll use what is available. That’s probably going to be your favorite chair or some other surface you don’t want shredded.

What about the cat that solicits, or at least welcomes, attention only to turn on you unexpectedly after a few moments? The key here is to learn your cat’s body language.

Watch for ears that are laid back, a twitching tail, hair rising along the backbone. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and keep contact short and pleasant until you do learn your cat’s signs of annoyance.

evil cats why
(Source: www.youtube.com)

This post really only scratches the surface of meeting the needs of your cat. At The Indoor Pet Initiative for cat owners you will find much more information on meeting the basic needs of your indoor cat, problem-solving advice and much more.

CATS ARE, QUITE literally, a strange breed. It’s for that reason that cats have managed to establish themselves as … Well, complete assholes.

And half the time, to add insult to injury, it’s them you’re cleaning up after. Cats must be stopped, whatever the cost.

(@macilynnnnnnn) August 7, 2014, Seriously, what is the deal with single girls and cats ? It's not cute and it doesn't make you quirky, lovable or funny, which I know you're trying to be.

If you want to get creative, obsess over literally any other animal in the whole world. This parasite, which lives in 30 to 50 percent of the world's human brains, can only reproduce in the digestive tracts of cats.

cats evil bad luck why orange eyes
(Source: chatnoirthinks.blogspot.com)

Scientists studied the behavior of T. Gandhi in the brain of a rodent, an animal normally petrified by cats, and uncovered extraordinary results. Now, the newly-brave, manipulated rat thinks it can befriend its mortal enemy, and it can't.

“The fact that a parasite has learned to sneak into brains, hack some biochemical wiring, and effectively reverse a deep-seated, primordial fear that’s been beaten into the inherited psyche of every living rodent is, in a word, bonkers.” You might think your cat is your only friend while you're alone on a Saturday night watching Netflix, but he actually likes you as much as every crush you've ever had does: not at all.

The “kitty kiss” relays certain information about how the cat is feeling. If the cat blinks at you, it's a good thing, but if he doesn't, he's asserting his dominance and potentially feeling aggressive.

All of these subtle movements could be hard to catch if you're not watching closely enough -- which you can't do because staring in a cat's eyes for too long could prompt an attack. People who live alone and own a cat, beware: If you die by yourself in your house, nobody will know right away, so your body will stay there for several days.

According to a phenomenon called “postmortem predation,” a cat will eat your dead body one or two days after you die. Studies have shown that a dog struck with this phenomenon will at least wait a while before attacking your corpse, so it's possible that someone will have found you by the time the dog realizes he's starving.

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(Source: www.quora.com)

Don't feel so safe living alone with your cat now, huh? All mammals have the required number of taste receptors to detect sweetness.

They lack amino acid pairs that make up the DNA of a gene called Tas1r2 that codes for an ability to taste sweet things like cupcakes. Instead, cats love the flavor of adenosine triphosphate (ATP), a compound that supplies energy in all living cells and acts as a signal for meat.

A 2013 study revealed that each year, domestic cats kill 20.7 billion smaller animals, including mice, chipmunks, voles and 3.7 billion birds. Many of you probably find it “cute” when they bring their prey to your house and leave it at your doorstep.

Normally, it doesn't do anything to harm those humans whose brains it calls home (well, except make you love cats) because your immune system knows how to handle it. Feline feces are true safe havens for T. Gandhi, so you can contract toxoplasmosis by cleaning up your cat's sh×t.

Scientists studied how humans responded to cat purrs mixed with a high-pitched cry. Cats know how sensitive we are to the needs of human babies who also cry, so they try to trick us into paying attention to them by wailing like children.

evil cats why trusted
(Source: www.youtube.com)

In the study, human owners felt a higher sense of urgency in a situation when cat's purring included crying. Looks like cats are losers and pea-brained, which means stupid.

Now, imagine waking up the next morning and going home still smelling like that pillow. If these leaders, who range from notably brave heroes to evil relentless dictators, feared cats in their lifetimes, perhaps we really should start thinking about how awful they are.

Honestly, if Hitler is afraid of something, I can only imagine the power that thing has. As any cat-lover will testify, felines can make the most loving and adorable pets.

But, taking a look at this collection of evil -looking images, we think someone forgot to tell these creatures that fact! If you’ve ever questioned what your cute little Riddles does when you’re not around, he could secretly be enjoying being the embodiment of evil like these cats below.

You might think your little pet is all sweetness and light, without an evil bone in his body. What’s worrying us though is that these guys look set on rising up and creating a new world order of fantastic and terrifying felines.

evil cats why meme
(Source: www.memecenter.com)

Being the dominant species on earth, perhaps we humans have had it too good for too long. If you’re worried about your cat’s propensity to evil, it’s time to take action.

A few slices of fish and a saucer of milk should hopefully placate him…for a while. “We’re not letting you leave without a fight (for your soul.

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