The Detroit Post
Saturday, 16 October, 2021

How Do I Trust U

Maria Johnson
• Wednesday, 09 December, 2020
• 8 min read

A better way to describe that is to say: I get people to trust me for a living. Regardless of industry, sales is about approaching complete strangers and, shortly after meeting them, asking them for money.

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I started a routine sales call with a potential client (whom I reached out to with a cold email just the week before). He was head of marketing at a hot consumer startup.

After the routine pleasantries, he announced that he talked to dozens of marketing companies, and they had passed on them since the internal marketing team were doing a great job growing the brand. He said he didn't really think that we had much unique to offer and that it was pretty unlikely they would try us out, but he'd give us a few minutes of time.

I told him that I read about his brand in the press and that whatever they were doing was working very well because they'd just been covered by a major news outlet. Then I asked him how in a crowded and competitive space and against huge established competitors, they were able to so well distinguish themselves.

I asked him a couple questions here and there, but he did 99 percent of the talking. He said he didn't need to see a proposal and asked for us to send over the contract.

Great salespeople are exceptional listeners and have a high degree of integrity and trustworthiness. I just guide them by asking insightful questions, and listening intently.

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By asking insightful questions, you can steer the conversation, identifying the clients needs and then eventually showing them how what you offer is a fit for their needs. I don't know the exact psychology of it, but I would suggest that it's the primary criteria people are assessing (mostly subconsciously).

When you smile deeply, you positively affect your mood and physiology, and you exude warmth. A colleague told me at his first job doing sales for a brokerage, he'd have to do a minimum of two hundred cold calls a day.

Before every sales call, I take a quick break, breath deeply, and then smile. Mentally, they're looking to check a box that they can make some sort of affiliation with you, however distant.

(I believe this has evolutionary roots going back to when humanity was a series of disparate tribes and when encountering someone new or strange, people needed to validate who the stranger was and whether he was trustworthy.) Before sales calls, I research on LinkedIn and social networks to find any sort of commonality, shared interests and common connection.

How do you know him?” But it goes a long ways in terms of building trust. Listen as if he was the only person in the room and make him feel that way.

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Sounds intuitive, but you'd be shocked how many people drift off, check their phones, let their eyes wander, etc. Most greetings start out with typical small talk.

There's nothing wrong with these, but take them a step further and ask questions like, “What was it like growing up there?” or “Tell me about what you do,” instead of, “What do you do ?” When you ask a question, act as if he's about to tell you an incredible story. My old boss used to tell me how he would meet the most interesting people on airplanes, which was the complete opposite of my experience of flying.

I eventually realized that this happened because he'd talk to them and get them to share the most interesting parts of their lives, not because he happened to always sit next to interesting people. With the example sales call, the potential client started out declaring that it wasn't likely he was going to need our services because they were doing such a great job on their own.

In improve, this principal is called “Yes, and ... It's how you build on a story and create spontaneity and consensus. Tell me more.” In sales, this is part of the process, but really one of the most important aspects.

Think of the times you've met someone new and walked away with a good impression. Look back on the encounter and think of what made you feel that way.

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Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. Trusting others, such as family members and friends, can reassure us that we’ll be helped when we need it.

Sometimes we lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or after someone criticizes us harshly or constantly. This can make life feel a little easier and much more enjoyable.

If you fear how others will look at you or judge you, you might find it difficult to be yourself around other people. Acting like a different person than whom you really are is a sign that you’re lacking self-confidence and trust in yourself.

Start by practicing around the people you feel most comfortable with, like your friends and close family. And setting our goals high can be a good thing, because it motivates us to work hard for what we want.

Unfortunately, setting goals that are too ambitious has a major downside. When we don’t reach our big goals, we experience failure.

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You’ll also gain confidence and trust in yourself while accomplishing the smaller goals along the way. You’ve probably heard the term “unconditional love.” Maybe it’s been mentioned in relation to the connection a parent has with their child, or the love that exists between siblings, friends, or even romantic partners.

Loving yourself unconditionally means getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism after you make a mistake. Start by keeping a close eye on your inner voice, and how it reacts to your actions.

Trusting yourself means being able to attempt to do all kinds of things without judging yourself too harshly. When you don’t trust yourself, you might feel uncomfortable spending time looking inward.

You might try to keep busy all day by constantly getting involved in activities or thinking about small things outside yourself. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for 5 to 15 minutes each day.

Pay close attention to your breath and body. Build trust in yourself by breaking your habit of questioning your decisions.

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Even if it turns out not to be the best choice, there’s no use beating yourself up over the decision you made. Believe that you’ll make a better choice next time, and move on.

To trust yourself, all you need is to make a little effort, create self-love, and find the ability to look inward. And this is a certain recipe for a lonely and unfulfilled life without meaningful relationships.

You can move past the heartbreak of broken trust. Even if you’ve been deeply wounded or have experienced traumatic episodes of betrayal, you don’t have to let another person’s trustworthiness affect your ability to trust.

You have faith that the person would avoid taking any action or saying anything that would hurt you physically or emotionally. People make mistakes, but in general, you believe their actions and words to reflect love for you.

Trust yourself, on the other hand, means having the confidence and faith that the decisions you make on your behalf and toward others, are based on love, consideration, and respect for yourself and the other person. It means you stand firm on your values and follow through with integrity on your decisions.

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But it is worth learning to trust again, especially if you care for the person. But if you really want to learn how to rebuild your faith in others, you may need to dive even deeper into this process.

You simply are, and if people don’t act according to the expectations you placed on them and betray your trust, you still are. You can’t enter a new relationship if you’re still harboring the belief that once trust is broken, it will never be regained.

Don’t you trust that when you place an order at a restaurant, someone will bring you food? Think about all the little acts of trust that are performed every day.

Listen to your spirit guides when you are questioning a person’s trustworthiness. Untrustworthy people can put on an excellent show in public but allow their behavior to deteriorate in private.

Often, though, untrustworthy people will slip up and express unkind words and actions before they catch themselves. When you’re in a new relationship (romantic or friendly) don’t spill your heart right away.

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The breach of even a small confidence is a huge red flag. If you have been betrayed and you expect it to happen again, you will subconsciously attract just that situation.

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