Way back in August 2017, Americans across the country stopped in their tracks to view the rare total solar eclipse. In the days before the celestial event, ophthalmologists turned to everypossiblenewsoutlet to share this urgent warning: do not stare at the sun without protective eyewear.
But arguably the most nonsensical of all is “coffee”, the made-up word that Trump included in a 2017 tweet complaining about news coverage of his administration. Frank Giacomo, a 10-year-old from Virginia, said in his letter to Trump that he had started his own lawn-mowing business and wanted to make the White House one of his clients.
As Giacomo mowed the White House lawn, the president stepped out to commend him for his entrepreneurial spirit, apparently trying to shout over the sound of the lawnmower. While visiting an anti-extremist center in Riyadh, Trump, King Salman and the Egyptian president, Abdul Fatah Ellis, placed their hands on a glowing orb.
The resulting photos of the three leaders standing around a lit sphere, looking as if they were planning global destruction, prompted a widespread reaction of, “Wait, what?” Donald Trump places his hands on a glowing orb as he tours the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
The rapid rise and fall of “the Mooch” across 11 days in 2017 was an early indication of the chaos that would define Trump ’s staffing strategy. Scaramouch was let go after a foul-mouthed tirade to the New Yorker, including referring to the then chief of staff, Race Priests, as “a fucking paranoid schizophrenic”.
The communications' director was pushed out by the newly installed chief of staff, John Kelly, who was also dismissed a little over a year later. During a 2018 event at the White House, Scott Stretch, the president of a steelworkers union in Pennsylvania, thanked Trump for imposing tariffs on steel imports.
While returning to the White House from a trip to North Carolina in February, photographers captured a picture of Trump that showed a noticeable tan line on the president’s face. Photograph: Joshua Roberts/Reuters A different version of the photo, which appeared to exaggerate the tan line, later went viral on Twitter, sparking comparisons to Mrs Doubt fire and Wilson the volleyball from Cast Away.
Hours before Joe Biden was declared the winner of the presidential election, Trump sent a tweet saying his campaign would hold a press conference at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. But he then sent another tweet, clarifying that the event would actually take place at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a Philadelphia grounds keeping business located between a crematorium and a sex shop.
A President who’s not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying asshole!” Lewis Black. 30 Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him.”? Eric Schneiderman.
35 Trump threatening not to show up for next debate if Megan Kelly is moderating! 37 “It’s easy to joke that Donald Trump is a ‘clown’ or a ‘moron’ or an ‘egomaniac.’ Or a ‘turd boy’ or a ‘weeping wound.’ Or a ‘dog fucker’ or”…– Rob Delaney.
45 “In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, ‘I believe in god.’ But of course The Donald was talking about Himself.” Jay Leno. 46 “A Trump rally being cancelled due to violence is the most predictable thing to happen in this campaign since Donald Trump mentioning the size of his dick.” John Oliver.
However, experts say, if he really wants To be Planned Parenthood to go under he should turn it into a Trump property.”–Conan O” Brien He said he’s sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States.
69 Donald, I’m not sure if you’re even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one’s going to be sad when you get cancer.”–Anthony Jeweling 72 “Today is the Republican caucus in Nevada, and Donald Trump is projected to win.
It is so hot, Donald Trump hit on Megan Kelly just to get the cold shoulder. 75 “After Donald Trump ’s derogatory comments about immigrants, NBC has officially cancelled ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Think about it, Donald Trump isn’t even president yet, and he’s already made America a better place.”–Conan O’Brien.
“Sure it seems fun, but some day Coco is going to tear your fucking limbs off.”–John Oliver 82 “Americans like Trump because he’s got loads of money, which is sort of their version of being clever.
When he graduated from college, he put his shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone… borrowed $6 million from his father, and started a career.”–Larry King 84 “I say that knowing every time his name is said out loud, he has a shattering orgasm… Donald Trump is America’s back mole.
It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it.”–John Oliver 85 “He’s an obscenely wealthy version of Erik Estrada or William Shatter, a cultural punch line who still has to exist as a human.
And Trump has a right to be scared, because usually when a younger, attractive woman disagrees with him, she ends up taking half his stuff.”– Jimmy Fallon 91 “But folks, on a serious point, Trump said he likes ‘people who don’t get captured.
Proving once and for all, the best way to keep everyone safe and sound is to build a wall around Donald Trump.”– Jimmy Fallon 102 “On Saturday Donald Trump had some unkind words for Arizona Senator John McCain.
104 “Today Donald Trump signed a loyalty pledge to the Republican Party saying that he would endorse for president whoever wins the Republican nomination and would not run as a third-party candidate as he has threatened to in the past. 106 “The reaction to Donald Trump ’s announcement of his presidential campaign suggests that there is room for one more: Grow the Hell Up Conservatism.
109 “A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. Next thing you know, he’s winning Iowa, then he takes New Hampshire, then he somehow actually becomes the Republican nominee.
110 “ not good at running for president, he’s just good at ‘Family Feud.’ And these other people are terrible at ‘Family Feud.’ So when the Steve Harvey of this election is like ‘Name something that is bothering Americans,’ and Ted Cruz is like ‘Benghazi!’ . Because it’s actually kind of insane watching him stomp down the sidewalk on a carpet that’s being unspoiled by two slobs who would be his sons if they weren’t to the tacky manor born.
He said, ‘If you think walls don’t work, all you have to do is ask Israel.’ Yeah, because it’s really peaceful over there. For example… no seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks.
And there was a lot of blame to go around, but you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership, and so ultimately you didn’t blame Lil Jon or Meat Loaf, you fired Gary Busy. 119 “Whatever you think about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, at least you basically know where they stand, but Trump ’s opinions have been wildly inconsistent.
At the evening performance, the head usher at the Metropolitan Opera House was quite surprised. During an intermission, one middle-aged lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Sir, I believe that I was sexually harassed!” The usher didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
At the end of the nights performance in an area close to the first complaint, a second little lady bent down and whispered in his ear, “Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!” This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few guests had remained in the opera house, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on.
He found one old man crawling along the opera house floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him. Then you will have the world's biggest collection of jokes and inspiring quotes right in your pocket, and the app will work faster than the site, so it will save you time and keep you entertained.